One odd thing about playing poker seriously is that I have lots of friends who play socially. This is a weird dynamic that most people don’t experience. Doctors, for example, don’t generally go out with people on a Friday night who dabble in a bit of heart surgery. Instead they have to contend with people constantly asking what they can do about the crick in their neck. My occupational hazard is that everybody who’s won a few pounds off their friends thinks they do what I do. But the house games that I play are not poker as I know it. Effectively they are turbo competitions where the edge of the best players is negligible to non-existent. The emphasis of the evening is, quite rightly, on a few drinks, a bit of banter and not taking anything too seriously. Effort is also made to keep everyone involved so the best way to do that is to play about three games in the course of about four hours. This is all well and good but I only ever go there for a good time, not to make money. Friends of mine would point out that this is just as well as I rarely leave with any.
Good players should always be looking to invest their money in a game where they have an edge. It’s no good being the best player at the table if the format precludes you from demonstrating that fact. Accomplished players are drawn to events that offer them a deep stack and a ‘good clock’. In plain English this means that you get a lot of chips to begin with and that the blinds levels rise slowly, giving you time to play. If you begin with a short stack and blinds rise quickly then you’ll have to gamble early on and get lucky quickly if you want to stay in the tournament. As skill goes largely out the window, so that elusive edge disappears and you might as well be playing roulette or bingo. There certainly is a case for playing turbo tournaments online when you can multi-game and the sheer volume of games you can get through counters some loss of edge. But that is a discussion for another day. If you’re looking to make money in a live tournament, and multi-gaming isn’t a consideration, then the smart move is to find a game with a good format.
However, the other day I went to a venue that I enjoy socially and decided to play their Friday early evening rebuy tournament. I was unsure of what the exact structure would be but had classified this evening as a social night not a work night in my head. This is an important distinction for me to make. If it’s a work night then I must play tournaments that give me the best chance of success. On a social night I let my hair down a bit, don’t worry so much about the format and view any monetary success as a bonus. (I might add that I do occasionally have social nights that don’t involve poker of any description. Honest).
As it turned out the structure of this rebuy event was lousy even by my ‘social’ standards, but it did demonstrate the problems of turbo poker. Firstly we all began with a meagre 1000 chips for £23 and all rebuys and add-ons would be £20 for a further 1000 chips. The event was self-dealt which meant that play was painfully slow in that first 45 minute period, particularly with all the novice players in attendance. This was frustrating, not least because the hand per hour rate was pitiful, while the blinds rose every 15 minutes. Then when the rebuy period ended, to my horror, the blinds levels were set to increase every 10 minutes. Even worse. It quickly became clear that if you didn’t double-up virtually every 20 minutes you were going out.
The carnage was never ending. There was absolutely no chance of seeing a flop cheaply. It was all-in or fold poker for everyone. This is the single biggest difference between social poker and real poker. ‘Push or fold’ poker involves skill only so far as picking the right start cards to shove at the right moment. This should only be a tiny facet of the game, not the whole caboodle. The subtleties of finessing a flop, making great folds and adventurous bluffs are fine arts that are completely lost in a turbo crapshoot. At one point I ‘played’ an entire blind level without being dealt a hand after being moved around tables faster than one of Gordon Ramsey’s waiters. That’s what happens when players crash out every two minutes.
Remarkably, due to being luckier than most people, I managed to finish 4th out of the 59 who started out on this madcap adventure. I only mention that because my friends think I’m bitter when I go crashing out of our turbo house games. But now they can see that I even moan about the format when I do win money! My pursuit of pure poker with a deep stack and a good clock is never ending. Anything else is just a bit of fun and a good night out.
Simon Ballou writes for Oddschecker Poker